old ties of love and friendship

It’s been eight years since I left my family’s house, and along these years my family has been the friends I’ve chosen along the way. My parents and sibling will never be replaced in my heart. They are in the place they’ve always been, waiting for me to go back, and share my tears and happiness; things I’ve noticed and learned around this world. My friends are everywhere I’ve been, and everywhere I go I leave a piece of me with them, but always bringing something from them with me. Sometimes you need to feel lonely to realize how important friends are in your life. 

 

Sometimes I see a group of friends having dinner together and I wish they were my friends, or that I could be with my loved ones at that same table, sharing laughs and joy. I remember when I first moved to California. The first friend I made took me to a really special place, It was a humble family-owned restaurant. There were only a few little tables, but there was this special one, in a separate room. That table was only used for groups of six or more. I remember every time I went there, I would stare at that table and wish that one day I would have enough friends in that city, so we could sit there, and share that magical feeling I always saw expressed on other people’s face. I slowly started making friends, one by one, and when I had finally made a handful of them, enough to sit at that special table, I took them there to have that always dreamt dinner. However, they were all there to say good bye.

 

I’ve seen that scene many times in life, and I’ve always wondered if all the adventure and knowledge is worth the pain of missing friends and family. Sometimes I wish I was less adventurous, being able to settle in one place. It’s so painful leaving friends behind. It feels like your heart is being broken in pieces, and distributed between those who stay. Every time I move somewhere new, It always takes me a while to be ready to meet new people. It’s a mixed feeling of wanting to have someone to hang out, but wanting that person to know you like a friend would. I often find really hard to cross the first stages of a friendship. I find It hard to let people know me, part of this is due to the fear of the unknown, but It is also an unconscious fear of becoming good friends, and soon having to say good bye. I guess this is the meaning of life, my life. Making friends, traveling, exploring, loving, missing, learning, teaching, and the most important, keeping the love received from your good friends in your heart, wherever you go.

 

The picture used for this post was taken my best-friend Mauricio Medeiros. It’s been over two years the world hasn’t put us in the same place at the same time. Mauricio is a living legend of the brazilian design living in London. He’s working towards his master’s degree. He’s one of those friends that keep me moving, and make me smile when I see something that makes me think of him. Always followed by the thought: “God, I wish you were here…”